What Bad EMDR Looks Like and Why It Failed You
EMDR didn’t work for you. Before you write it off, read this.
If you tried EMDR and left sessions feeling more upset than when you came in, if the memories felt closer instead of further away, if things got stirred up without getting resolved, that’s not a failure of EMDR as a method. That’s a training failure.
The Preparation Phases Are Not Optional
The majority of therapists who use EMDR are using traditional, 8-Phase EMDR. The first two phases of this model exist specifically to make sure a client has enough internal stability and resources to tolerate processing the upsetting memories. A therapist who is adequately trained builds this foundation before any processing work begins. That means assessing your history, your current resources, your capacity to self-regulate, and your readiness to approach difficult material.
An undertrained therapist rushes this. Or skips it entirely. They move to processing because that’s the part they think EMDR is.
It isn’t. Processing without preparation creates the exact experience that makes people say EMDR didn’t work for them.
Target Memory Identification Matters
Not every painful memory is the right starting point. Identifying the right target memories, the ones that are driving current symptoms, is a clinical skill that takes training and supervised practice to develop. Not every bad thing that happened to you is a trauma. Not every trauma is causing the issue that you want to see change. If your therapist doesn’t know how to identify the target memories to work on the issue at hand, you can process memories for years with no change to the problem you came to therapy to solve.
An inadequately trained EMDR therapist may target the wrong thing entirely. Or they may not know how to track what’s happening in a session well enough to know when to continue, when to slow down, and when a client needs more stabilization before moving forward.
They may also get ‘stuck’ in an EMDR target memory with the amount of distress around it not changing for weeks. EMDR clinicians are trained that when someone gets stuck like this, it is not uncommon. You don’t continue to do the same thing and expect a different result. They are taught to use different methods to get the memory ‘unstuck’ and help the client to move forward in processing it.
What Bad EMDR Feels Like
Not sure if you’ve had bad EMDR? Still wondering if you are the problem?
Sessions where you leave more upset or activated than when you came in. Memories that feel more present after treatment than before. A sense that things got stirred up and left unresolved. Nightmares or intrusive thoughts increasing after sessions. A therapist who seemed uncertain about what was happening or what to do next.
These are signs that the preparation was insufficient or the approach was wrong for where you were in your treatment.
What Good EMDR Feels Like
After a correctly done EMDR, most clients feel better instead of worse. Sometimes they do feel tired. EMDR is emotional labor. They might feel a sense of distance from something that previously felt overwhelming. The memory is still there. But it lost its charge. It no longer carries the emotional intensity it had before.
That shift doesn’t require reliving the event in detail. You aren’t narrating the trauma. Your brain is completing a process it was already trying to finish in the first place when the trauma happened.
Why EMDRIA Certification Matters
When it comes to 8-Phase EMDR, there is a significant difference between a therapist who attended a basic EMDR training that is EMDRIA approved, and one that went to a third-party, non-approved company. There is also a difference between one who has completed basic training and one who holds EMDRIA certification.
To be an EMDRIA approved training provider, a company has to meet a standard of excellence and is required to train therapists on EMDR in a specific way. There are topics they are required to cover. EMDRIA approved basic training usually takes 20 hours of training to complete. Before the training is considered complete, you are also required to get 10 hours of consultation from an EMDRIA approved consultant. I understand this process in depth because I am an EMDRIA approved consultant. This is not a quick and dirty intro to EMDR training.
EMDRIA certification requires not only the completion of the basic training, but also another 12 hours of advanced EMDR-specific training, a minimum of 20 hours of working with an EMDRIA approved consultant, and having completed a minimum of 50 hours of EMDR therapy with at least 25 different clients, and recommendation from your EMDRIA approved consultant that you are ready for certification.
It is not a credential from a weekend workshop. It reflects actual clinical competence in the model. In order to keep up that certification, you need a minimum of 12 hours of advanced training every 2 years. The goal is to keep therapists up to date in how the field is changing based on current research.
Beyond certification, asking what types and how many types of EMDR a therapist is trained in matters. Most therapists who offer EMDR know one approach. Many of them are not trained by approved providers. Different clients and different kinds of trauma respond better to different approaches. At Revitalize You, I work with four different models. You can read about each one on our website.
| If EMDR didn’t work for you before, that doesn’t mean it can’t. It means it needs to be done correctly this time. Free consultations are available. We see clients in person or via video in our Columbus office, and throughout the state of Ohio via telehealth. |
