Finding a Relationship Therapist Was Hard
The hardest part of relationship therapy was finding the therapist! Weather I was going though Google or my insurance company website there was a long list of therapists who do relationship therapy. I would make a list of the ones near me, call and inevitably no one answers. I guess this is because most therapists answer their own phones. I left voicemails. Tons of voicemails. I got hardly any responses. It’s hard when you’re hurting and feel like things are falling apart and the people you reach out to don’t return your calls. Take note therapists! When I finally did find therapists who returned my calls, it was hard finding people who seemed to know what they were talking about. Lots of people consider themselves couple therapists, but many seem to have no training. Finally, after a long search, I found a therapist that seemed like he knew what he was doing, and we set up an appointment.
What The First Relationship Therapy Session Was Like
The initial appointment for relationship therapy was a bit scary. I was worried the therapist would tell me I was the problem. I was worried he would tell me I wasn’t the problem and that we were just incompatible. I was worried he would tell me the relationship couldn’t be saved. I was worried he would tell me the relationship could be saved but it would take Herculean efforts that were more painful than the broken relationship was.
Once we got to the office, the therapist invited us in and talked to us a bit about how he works and about our relationship. Our therapist used Emotionally Focused Therapy, and the intake session was broken into three sessions. The first session we were together with him, and we each told him about the highs and lows of the relationship. It was a bit difficult to talk about some of this with a stranger, but he put us at ease quickly. After a session of talking about our problems with him, he gave us hope that things could be fixed. He talked to us about how our ways of communicating with each other were not working, and then set up another session with each of us to talk individually.
The Individual Relationship Therapy Sessions
The solo session for relationship therapy was nice. It gave me a chance to talk to the therapist about how I saw things without ticking off my husband. Which, at the time, felt very easy to do. I could tell my side of the story in my own way. I was also asked a lot of questions about my family and personality as well. It was much easier to talk one on one and not hold anything back. I thought the solo session was a waste when they told us about it, but I’m glad to have had it. I think it really helped him understand how I saw things.
What Relationship Therapy Looks Like Over Time
After the individual sessions, our relationship therapy went back to being both of us in the room with the therapist. We worked on how we interacted with each other and how each person’s feelings lead to certain behaviors for them. And when they behave in a certain way, their spouse feels certain things about it, then the spouse behaves in a certain way. This just goes on and on in a downward spiral that we could not break out of. He helped us to see why we were each doing what we were doing and how we could break out of that downward spiral.
How Did I Know We Had the Right Therapist?
I knew we had the right therapist pretty quickly. First off, he was willing and able to answer all of our questions about relationship therapy and how he would work with us. He was also not judgmental of either of us or on any one person’s side. It felt like he was there for the both of us. He helped us each in different ways. This is a good thing because we are polar opposites and what worked with one of us would not have worked with the other. He was patient and kind with both of us, and we both felt like we could talk to him.
Would I Do Relationship Therapy Again?
Would I do relationship therapy again? In a heartbeat. I think it’s great when there are major problems, but I wish we would have done it while the problems were still minor and easier to solve. I can see doing this again in the future to make sure things are going well for the relationship and everything stays on track.
Looking for Relationship Therapy?
Columbus Therapy and Hypnosis has relationship therapists that are ready to help you. We offer in-person and video sessions in Ohio. For more information call 614-245-5119 or visit our web form to contact us.